The Things I'll Be Keeping.

Ep#4: Downsizing 101: The KEEPERS.

This week, our "Living Smaller & Loving It!" BLOG brought to you by Downsizing Simplified will begin focusing on what to do with the contents of your home as you sort and pare down—The KEEPERS, the things we want to hold onto, will start us off. To recap, Episode #3 focused on setting goals and creating a personalized plan for downsizing, whether you're planning a move or staying in your home. Episode #2 post covered the decision and commitment to downsize and live a smaller life with less stuff.

As I stated in Episode #3, sorting and paring down the contents of your home is, in my professional opinion, by far the most challenging step in the downsizing process. It requires focus and hard work. It is NOT a walk in the park.

So, here you are. You have successfully sorted through (or are in the process of) your home room by room with a fierce determination not to let your stuff get the best of you or dictate your future plans. No doubt you faced many, many decisions and probably at some point wondered why you even took on this enormous project. There was perhaps a pause or two in activity along the way, sometimes short, other times extended, but you got back on track, and your determination kept the ball rolling toward your goal.

"I'm ready, so what can I do with the extra stuff in my home?" Let's take a look at the five common sorting categories: KEEP, FAMILY & FRIENDS, DONATE, SELL, RECYCLE/TRASH, and how they play a role in the completion and success of your downsizing plan.

First up, sorting category: KEEP

I tell my clients, "You are #1, and what you want, you should keep." Of course, you still need to think through decisions so you're not keeping things that you shouldn't--falling into the trap of holding onto too much. In addition, please don't be overly concerned about what you'll give the kids, grandkids, other family members, or friends at this point; you can make those decisions later. (We'll discuss this more in Episode #5.)

This is important because many of my clients often get caught up in what others want, rather than focusing on themselves as they sort through their belongings. I call this "thinking too far down the road" when it isn't necessary. The stress that some people bring on themselves over making the right decisions regarding gifting, or not wanting to make someone upset, or feeling left out, can hinder progress. So, please try to keep this in mind as you sort — you are number one and you can always revisit your "keep" decisions.

We all have special things that we cherish and want to keep. Our "keeps" are part of us; they play a significant role in who we are, and we definitely want to hold onto these things as they will likely be passed down through the family at some point. They will find a new home with a new steward who will care for them, a reassurance that brings peace of mind. In the meantime, these special items can continue to be displayed or perhaps organized and safely packed away if need be. If you do pack things away, especially family heirloom-type items, be sure to inform a family member or estate manager of their location and share your wishes (in writing) with them. Your attention to this important matter will be greatly appreciated.

In addition to the sentimental, I firmly believe in holding onto items that bring joy to daily life and are essential for keeping our houses running smoothly. Unfortunately, the tendency to overlook unnecessary excess can keep the home in a cluttered state. Taking a hard look at what's truly important is a must-do if we're serious about living a simplified, more rewarding lifestyle.

Here are some of the ways we can stay trapped by our stuff:

• Keeping past work-life materials that will never be used again.

• Holding onto clothing that doesn't fit or hasn't been worn in a very long time.

• Letting the kitchen slide; not sorting through the cabinets, drawers, pantry, and even the refrigerator/freezer.

• Ignoring closets that hold too many things no longer needed.

• Seeing the garage not as a place to park the car, but rather as a storage unit.

• Not going through and tossing expired medications and cosmetics.

• Taking time to sort through and clean out filing cabinets, keeping only current, essential papers.

I want to share some current and past client downsizing scenarios that involve making "keep" decisions during the sorting and paring-down process. (Names have been changed.)

Martha & Tom. I am currently working with a lovely older woman whose husband is living with a debilitating disease. (He is not actively participating in our work sessions due to his illness.) I was initially contacted by their daughter, who expressed concern about the amount of stuff in their large home and the need to begin downsizing the contents. (Their daughter lives three hours away and can't help with the sorting process as often as she'd like.*) Following the consultation, we scheduled several afternoons to address the areas of the home that she felt needed the most attention. It was nice as she had actually made a list prior to us beginning our work, which we have as a roadmap.

Due to the client's age and stamina concerns, the sorting and paring down phase will require some time to complete. As we go along, Martha identifies her "keeps" right away without hesitation. She also identifies the things she wants to offer to her grandchildren, as well as items for donation. After each work session, I take the donations to a charity thrift store. Being proactive, Martha has made so much progress in our few short work sessions. She recognized the need, made a commitment, and is now taking the necessary steps to achieve her downsizing goals!

*Martha can share items that she believes require decisions with her daughter by texting pictures. Her daughter can then respond with a yes or no as to whether she has any interest. This decision-making approach works well, eliminating the need to hold anything back for her daughter to consider at a later time.

Robert. An awesome client who had no trouble acknowledging and understanding his downsizing "assignment". This gentleman approached his third significant downsizing move with a positive mindset. Due to his health and recent loss of his wife, Robert wanted to simplify his life by eliminating the excess so he could live out the rest of his life in a smaller, more intimate space, one he could easily navigate. Robert's decision-making was amazing! He kept only what was important to him--what had meaning and truly mattered. His daughters, both local, took an active role in supporting him and his decisions (the way it should be). Robert was a pleasure to work with, and he is happy in his new apartment.

Donna. A past client who I would classify as a "chronic keeper" with hoarding tendencies. Working with someone like this can be challenging because their reluctance to let go often hinders the progress they claim to desire. I mention Donna because I believe she wants to live a simpler, less cluttered lifestyle, but she's struggling to achieve the decluttering progress she needs, which is especially concerning for her health and safety. Although we worked as a team and accomplished many goals, the overarching downsizing objective will remain out of reach without her fully understanding the reasons behind her "keeping" tendencies.

Fred. An amazing man with a fantastic past! Fred was a referral from a retirement community. He had leased an apartment and was ready to downsize from his modest home. He was a retired high school Spanish teacher and an art collector. During my initial consultation and walk-through, he mentioned an area in the basement he wanted to show me. So, he grabbed a key and we headed downstairs. He unlocked the door to a relatively newly constructed room and flipped on the light. Inside the climate-controlled room, the walls were lined with floor-to-ceiling glass-enclosed cases, filled with pre-Colombian artifacts.

I'd never seen anything like this in a client's home, and I was left speechless.

Fred was in his early 90s when I worked with him years ago. He was never married and had no family. During his summers away from his teaching job, he would venture to Colombia, South America, on expeditions and bring back artifacts. This was legal at the time, and he made many trips over the years to secure his collection. I mention this because Fred kept only one or two pieces from his collection, bequeathing the rest to a prestigious museum/art gallery for permanent display. His art collection was sent to an international auction house, but his pristine mid-century modern furniture made the move with him.

These client stories illustrate the different "keep" attitudes of each. What's important vs. what's not. As we navigate life, we often find ourselves holding onto more than we actually need, which becomes a hindrance to living a simplified life. Of course, we should keep the things that bring us joy, but we should also continue to put effort into identifying and eliminating the things that no longer matter.

Coming up in Episode #5: FAMILY & FRIENDS

When gifting to family and friends, ALWAYS ASK, NEVER ASSUME, and DON'T BE OFFENDED IF YOUR GIFT IS TURNED DOWN.

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Living smaller, or downsizing, is about making the necessary choices to redefine what it means to live a more condensed, refined, and purposeful lifestyle and love it. It's a deliberate choice that results in a simplified life, allowing you to enjoy your environment more fully. So, whether you are moving or looking to redesign your existing living space(s), we're here for you.

We will cover many helpful downsizing topics and tips, which we hope will help expand your knowledge and foster a healthy attitude about living smaller.

Here are a few blog post topics we've got in store for our subscribers:

• Making the decision to downsize (moving or aging in place).

• Downsizing is a series of steps, a process. What are the steps to successful downsizing?

• How to craft a downsizing plan that works. Learn how to stay connected and on track with your plan.

• Sorting and paring down is the most time-consuming and challenging step in the downsizing process—planning it out, pulling it off.

• Avoid wasting time organizing your clutter. Understanding the chaos that clutter causes—the Chronic Keeper explained.

• Seasonal opportunities to declutter, organize, and donate. Sorting & paring down clothing, decor, and more.

• Finding a new home environment that meets your needs today and in the future. (Calling all retirement communities!)

• Redesigning and rethinking your current living space. Discover a new look that offers a fresh perspective on how you live.

• Making decisions about the things you no longer want or need. (Family, friends, sell, donate, trash.)

• Understanding the emotional side of leaving a longtime, memory-rich home. Asking for support when you need it.

• Talking to the family. Preparing for possible pushback. or embracing your downsizing decision with open arms.

• How to hire professional downsizing help. How do you know when the time may be right?

• Helping family members through the downsizing process. Adult children and parents—local and long-distance.

• Understanding how estate sales work (mostly). From a garage sale to selling online, explaining the choices available.

• Thrift stores can be our friends or not. Best practices for donating your items. Avoiding the thrift store traps.

• Packing, moving, and unpacking. Settling into your new lifestyle as quickly as possible.

• Selling your home. Getting the house buyer ready. Selecting the right real estate agent.

...and so much more!

Is there a topic you would like to have explored or a personal downsizing story you'd like to share? Send us a message, we'd love to hear from you! (Your experience could help others.)

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